Here am I

Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,

"Whom shall I send?  And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I.  Send me!"

My husband re-enlisted yesterday.  And in the morning, as I straightened my hair, put on some makeup, and dressed Layla, that tiny voice in the back of my head whispered at me, nagging me about all the bad this would mean.  Moving over and over, deployments, training, that feeling that the Army has seeped into every square inch of my life.  

While I was (and am), proud of him, I was also unsure of how to feel, and selfishly, I was dreading it as well.  

The realization that while Carl wears the boots, that I serve as well, standing behind him, backing him up when he needs it, taking his place in the family when he is gone, supporting him in myriad ways, started to seep into me during the day.  The idea was planted during his reenlistment speech, it took root in the afternoon, and by this morning it was fully blooming.  And maybe I should have felt that way from the beginning, but I am human, and sometimes I need to be strengthened.

When asked, he stood up and said Here I am, send me.  When asked, I answer the same, saying send me to the homefront, let me carry the burdens of life, let me stand, alone and unafraid, facing the storms of life, until he is back home to shelter me once again.  

I may falter, I may wince and cry aloud when the burden gets too heavy (but there is always someone to help me carry it),  but when asked, I will always say, Here I am.  Send me!!

I stand beside him, and behind him, underneath his arm for protection, tucked against his heart for love.  I am a Fiercely Independent Army Wife.

~Jennifer

The Silent Ranks, watching Daddy swear in.