2. Sleep when the baby does. As soon as those darling little eyes are closed, close your own. Do not clean, do not read, take a nap. Do this as often as you need to keep your sanity. Your friends and family with children will understand, the ones that don't can talk a long walk off a short pier.
3. Caffeine is your best friend. Be it soda, Red Bull, coffee, or one of those fru-fru drinks at Starbucks. Or you can figure out how to give yourself an IV and inject it straight into your veins.
4. A baby can spit-up approximately 4 times the amount of formula/breast milk you have just put in her. And will do this on any and every available surface, including you; the food you just got done making, the dog, your roommate who just wants some baby snuggle time, and anything else.
5. Cloth diapering is not for the weak stomached. You will be touching pee and poop during the day. Do not go more than 3 days without washing diapers, or the diaper pail will become a Superfund site.
6. Speaking of poop, you will see a lot of it. From meconium poop that has you convinced your child's intestines are dying, to the fun mix of whole milk and table food that you can smell from 5 miles away.
7. You will be peed or pooped on, or both, at least once. Do not throw up, clean the baby up, and learn how to peel your shirt off without getting everything on you.
8. You will be thrown up on. Same procedure as above.
9. Some medications are going to do awful things to your child's stomach, namely ibuprofen and amoxicillin. Do not give these to your child, ask for different medications.
10. Find a pediatrician that suits you, no matter how hippie-ish your parenting style may be.
11. Babywearing is a God-send. Do it all the time.
12. That moment, after a day of fussing for no discernible reason, when your child goes to sleep, is the moment you take a deep breath, and thank God her eyes are closed. Do not be ashamed, you are tired and probably covered in some un-named body fluid, you are entitled to some down time.
13. Giving birth is the single most painful experience of your life. If men gave birth the human race would have died out long ago. Do not be afraid to ask for the epidural, and have them pull the iv out as soon as they can, it will catch on everything. And make sure you have wonderful, caring people in the room with you when you go through it, to hold your hand, make you laugh, and cry with you.
14. Do not panic when your child is sick. Or when the nurse tells you that your newborn is jaundiced and needs to be under the uv lights at the hospital. Trust your doctors and nurses.
15. But also trust your own instincts. If something is wrong, insist it be checked out.
16. The faster your child develops, the faster you will be chasing her around the house.
17. The faster your child talks, the faster she talks back.
18. No is only cute the first 20 times you hear it.
19. Breastfeeding is difficult. If you can't manage it, for some reason or another, do not feel like you did something wrong, or that you are not a good mom.
20. There will be a moment, many of them actually, where you feel like you will be washing diapers and bottles forever.
21. It is perfectly fine to leave your child with someone you trust, to take a break. You need to do it more than you think. Do it without guilt.
22. Remember to take time out for your spouse. In the endless cycle of diapers, bottles, naps, food, clothes, and being a pillow/trampoline/security blanket for a small human being, you need to remember your spouse.
23. Pregnancy will end, no matter how long it seems to drag on. When you are holding your newborn, you will think time flies.
24. Time flies. Take as many pictures as you can, save tiny socks and hats. Live in the moment, treasure every tiny moment, from first smiles to first words to first steps.
25. Those stretch marks you hate, they are scars of honor, to be recognized and celebrated, you have carried life in you.
26. Put the baby books down, your child will develop at her own speed. Missing a milestone in a book will drive you to believe something is wrong, and it is not.
27. Matching socks and bows to outfits will make you happy, even when you are exhausted, sick, homesick. Do it often.
28. Dress your child in the frilliest stuff she has, for no reason other than you can.
29. Do not under-estimate the power of a nap, taken with your child sleeping on your chest. Do this often.
30. Parenthood is the most trying, exhausting, stressful, nerve-wracking endeavor you will ever embark on. It is the most worthwhile as well. There is no measuring the love you will have for your child. Just when you think you could not possible love her more, you will.
~Jennifer
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