Leaving high school, I mapped out my entire life, from top to bottom; a marriage and a baby was not on the list.
It was school, more school, a job, a Pulitzer, and all kinds of acclaim for my photo-journalism skills. Or maybe a PhD and an amazing career as a history professor, I could never pick between the two. That's the path I put myself on.
The path I wandered away from fairly quickly.
I lived like a gypsy for years, it was nothing for me to pick up and move and find myself in a new state, with a new life. I never put down roots, I was always the wanderer. And I enjoyed my care free, untied existence, the freedom was intoxicating.
The freedom of sleeping until noon on a weekday because I damn well can, has been replaced by a giggling, jabbering child at seven in the morning. The girl who would buy new socks and underwear in order to put off laundry, has been replaced by the women who can not fall asleep unless they're folded and matched up. I may still ruin my dinner with cookies, but I actually cook dinner now.
And today.. when my child, who is approaching a year old with a speed that terrifies me, woke up from a nap, we painted. With the edible finger paints I made from scratch. And giggled and laughed and I snapped pictures while she licked a concoction of corn starch, water, sugar and food dye off of her fingers.
I may be shaky in my shoes as a wife somedays… and I may doubt myself as a mother during those sick moments… but… today I did right.
~Jennifer
Pigtails. I can put pigtails in her hair, hair that is increasingly close to the color mine was as a child. I love those little pigtail dearly.
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