Today

And it's not theirs to speculate
If it's wrong and
Your hands are tough
But they are where mine belong and
I'll fight their doubt and give you faith
With this song for you

I whine a lot.

No, don't argue with me. I whine a ton.

Life is hard, it sucks, I can't do this, let me cry on your shoulder… I say it all, roughly 15 times a day. (I'm also a drama queen, but let's skip that for another blog.) I may get through the rough times, but I don't always do it with all the dignity and grace I can muster. Oftentimes, I've gotten through those tough times sulking over my hurt feelings.

There will be times to come, when I am sulky and whiny. When I feel that life is being horribly unfair, when I wonder what on earth I ever did to deserve what I have. When I hate being an Army wife with everything in me, and I swear to heaven and back that I wish my husband did something, anything different. There will come a day when I come perilously close to resenting life with a Soldier.

Today is not that day.

I have a husband who loves me, who has seen me for all that I am; the mood swings, the temper tantrums (I threw one just the other day), the sulkiness, the demanding sense of entitlement I often get, he's seen all that not-niceness, and he still loves me. He may laugh when I can't walk in heels, but he loves me in flats, he may like me when I'm all dolled up, but he loves me with no makeup and curly hair.

And yes, he leaves. And yes, it sucks. He still loves me, even when he leaves, when he has to leave, when I beg him to stay.

But he comes back. And he may be tired, and dirty, and he may stink to high heaven and his boots might just be this side of Superfund status, but he comes back. And he's always mine, no matter where he goes.

So today…. I will not be whiny, and feel sorry for myself. Today, I will remember how much I am loved, and I will love him in return.

Lyrics: Taylor Swift, Ours