Underneath My Armor, Part 5: Rumors, Gossip, and Dirty Laundry

What is the biggest misconception about military wives?

Well, there are so many, where do I start?

I've heard that we cheat during deployment, that we've married our spouses just for the money/benefits, that we're gossipy and start drama, that we're jealous and believe every woman is out to get our man, and that we wear the rank our spouses have like it is something we earned. That's just the short list.

And I can say, I have met women who live up to each and every one of those misconceptions. I refer to her as that wife (emphasis mine). She is the wife I do not want to be, the wife I refuse to be. There is always a rotten apple in the bunch, and some of them have completely spoiled people's perceptions of us all.

But the vast majority of us, nearly every Army wife I know (with the exception or one or two) is none of those things. We are faithful, we don't start drama and we don't spread gossip, we're not jealous and spiteful, and we all know the rank belongs to the man that wears it, not us. The majority of us banded together this year, clinging to each other on the hard days, helping out friends at all hours of the day, doing all the housework, doing all the yard work, keeping track of kids, holding down jobs of our own… we fought just as hard, worked just as long, as our other halves did down range. We might have whined a little bit, complained every so often, and had a break down along the way, but we still keep going.

During what is arguably the hardest year of my life, I found myself drawing on reserves I did not know I had, I found a spine of solid steel that had gotten forgotten, made friendships that have grown into family, and in the end, I did not survive deployment, I thrived through it. The girl I was, that awful day when he left, was not the same woman that stood before him during homecoming. And every Army wife I know is the same way, we emerged from deployment stronger, tougher, smarter.

Perhaps the myth of that wife is the greatest misconception of all. The stereotypical Army wife, a cheating, gossipy, drama starting, money-hungry wife, is not among the women I know. I'm sure there are wives out there who fit that awful cliche, but I can honestly say I don't know one that truly is that stereotype. That awful, awful wife, the stereotype that I fight and rail against, she is the biggest misconception. Most wives are not her, most wives are made of finer (and tougher) stuff.

~Jennifer