Underneath My Armor, Part 3: I Say It's Love

Why do you do it??

I have sat and stared at that question for weeks now. I hear I don't know how you do it approximately 30 times a day. Or at least it feels like I hear it that often. But why do you do it? That's a new one for me.

I never really stopped to think about what I was doing when I got married. Does anyone?? I jumped into the life I was creating without looking, leapt off the cliff of single-life, and into the middle of married to the Army land, with no parachute, no safety system, nothing. I free fell into this life. And I've hit the ground a few times, hard.

I can say one thing… you don't marry a soldier, and stand by him, through the bad, the ugly, and the worse, for the glory. If you are one of those "Look at me, I'm the perfect wife" types, life married to a soldier is probably going to be something close to unpleasant for you. Life with a soldier means moving, living out of boxes, unclogging your toilet, picking up dog crap, cleaning up baby puke, all kinds of things that ruin your manicure. It means doing those things day in, day out, without fail.

There is not a lot of recognition for us wives either, they don't call us the silent ranks for nothing. As long as my child is fed, my husband is getting the support he needs, my house isn't falling down around my ears, I am pretty much on my own. It's often a lonely life.

I don't do it for the glory… I don't do it for the recognition.

I do it for the love.

I love the man, even when I think he doesn't deserve it, from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. It is love that drives me, sustains me, keeps me going when I am pushed to the breaking point. The love I get in return, that is what makes all the bad worth it.

I do not love hubs because he is a soldier, or because he does what he does for the Army, or for the rank, or for anything else. I love the man he is. But loving the man means loving the soldier, the two are inseparable. For hubs, being a soldier isn't what he does for a living, it's who he is. So loving hubs means loving the soldier too.

And that means deployments and training schedules, moves and dwell time, washing ACUs, tripping over combat boots, all and everything that makes up our life. The good, the bad, the ugly and the in-between that is Army life.

So… why do I do it?

I say it's love.

~Jennifer