Underneath My Armor, Part 2: The Patriot

Do you ever feel like you cannot say anything negative about your country or leaders for fear of being "non supportive" (even though you are not).


This has been a question I have struggled with since becoming jumping into Army life, and really before that, when the promise of forever was just a dream.

It is 2011. Women have fought long and hard for rights we should have had all along. We are so close to the final glass ceiling, a woman president, that it feels as though I can do anything, regardless of what reproductive organs I possess.

But… there is still a cliched stereotype within the Army, of the "perfect wife". Many of us still meet our husbands at the door, don't ask them to do anything around the house, get up each night with the baby, mop our floors while wearing heels and pearls. I'm kidding on the last one.

My point is, many, many wives feel as though, for one reason or another, they do not have a voice. I for one, am NOT one of those wives. I did not hand over my brain, opinions, and feelings, to Carl when we got married. This does not mean I do not support him, I have thrown myself into the job of doing whatever I can to back him, in any way shape or form. Nor does this mean that I am not a patriot, I am one of those people that get teary eyed during the anthem, I am, unashamedly, one of those Americans, who think this is the best damn country in the world.

I kept my identity, the core beliefs, values, the weird quirks and bits of personality, that make me into me, when I got married. The person that protested against the death penalty, sold her shoe and purse collection and donated the money to the Tibetan freedom fund, the girl that sees life through a lens of a camera, and writes random short stories for fun… she is still there.

And part of me is still addicted to politics. I've been a political junkie since birth. My mom still tells the story of me writing a letter to President George Bush when I was barely 8, wanting him to do something about the plight of the whooping crane. I will admit only once, that it's been roughly 22 years since I did that. In middle school I explained what a dark horse candidate was over dinner, and how that Ross Perot was going to pave the way for Bill Clinton to win the election. My Sunday ritual for years was a bubble bath, The New York Times, and CNN. I have sat and actually read laws being voted on by Congress, which is an eyeballing killing exercise, I've written emails, made phone calls, I practically drug everyone I knew to go vote last presidential election.

I did not give that up either.

Yes, my husband serves his country. And yes, ultimately, he answers to the Army, and beyond that, the President. That does not mean I can not watch what they are doing, question their motives, disagree with what our leaders are doing. If I were to simply let things be, to never question what is going on, to just accept things as they are, then I would not be supporting Carl. Ultimately, what Congress does or does not will affect him.

It does not make me less of a patriot to want to know what my elected officials are doing, or how they are spending tax dollars that I could most definitely use. If the founding fathers of this country had not questioned authority, had not wanted a voice in the government, I would be speaking the Queen's English, drinking tea in the afternoon, and might even know how to curtsy.

You will never catch me protesting the death penalty in Carl's PT shirt, or civilly protesting something and broadcasting that I am married to the Army at the same time. I know what kind of impact me doing something like that would have on Carl. But more importantly.. I am more than just an Army wife. I can do those things on my own, as Jennifer, not at Carl's wife.

I did not give up me, when I became a wife. And that includes the me that is bleeding-heart liberal.

~Jennifer