How did I get here??

I spent some time outside staring up at the sky earlier, and the bright white glow that is the moon. Maybe it is the time of year, the rush of spring, maybe it is simply the mood I am in, or maybe I am pondering the deep mysteries of my life...

I had so much planned out for myself, I had my life mapped out, a course plotted. The year plan: certify as an optician for work. The three year plan: get my associates degree. The five year plan: finish up my bachelors, get a promotion, or leave my job, to get a higher position than I had. At some point in time, while I was buried in work, and school, I suppose a man was going to drop out of the sky.

And that’s pretty much what happened. When I focused on work, when I decided to change myself, when I got comfortable with who I am, he dropped out of the sky. I swore up and down that I would not move for a man, that I would not give up everything familiar, everything I worked for, and throw caution to the wind. After all, I did that once, and I got burned, badly.

As if to prove me wrong, he was put in my life, to have me chasing another adventure again. I would never have been happy, focusing on just work and school, staying in one spot, never seeing the world beyond what I would see on a daily basis. Much as I hate to admit, my mother was right, of all of her children, I was the one born for the adventure of life. And perhaps there is a lesson in here for me as well, to learn how to simply live the adventure, without worrying about what is going on in my life, to let life happen, as it may, day by day.

So my carefully mapped out life, with all my best-laid plans, have gotten re-written. I do not know where things will take me, or if I can even anticipate all that life is going to throw at me. I just know that I was meant to be here, in this moment, waiting on him. It’s as if I’ve been slowly working my way to him, that each brush with love, each broken heart, bad breakup, has put me closer to where, and who, I am supposed to be.

~Jennifer